I have been having a rough couple of weeks. I guess the worries of what people think of me are starting to hurt. The questions keep spinning around in my head that I have heard in the past. Why didn't you go to college with a more practical career path in mind? Why do you spend so much time creating art when you make very little money? Why don't I have a REAL job? AND a family member left a nice comment on one of my face book pictures and asked, "Did Ethan(our two year old) get out the crayons?" I guess the decisions I made to some aren't the best and sometimes in some weird way, I bury my feelings into my art. It doesn't talk back. It doesn't care if i'm not perfect and is helps me "heal". I don't know what I would do if I couldn't create. I am wondering if any one out there feels like this at times?
I had been working on a technique using repurposed paper and magazines awhile back. I made the first little doll in the top picture and put her up on Etsy when Ethan was still little. Well, she didn't sell and she got tossed in the reject bin with many others, waiting to be reworked or painted over. As I was visiting my bin, I rescued this little piece and decided that I really like her for more than just visual reasons. I like that I am recycling my materials and using up what I have on hand. I like that this style is more intuitive and as I create, the creation seems to "talk" to me. I like that as I am working I feel "good" about what I am doing. I like that I can be at my kitchen counter working on a piece while I am cooking or while I am watching and playing with my little guy. I like that I feel more "spiritual" and connected to my Creator. For me, the finished product is more that just a "picture". I would call it a form a prayer for me. I feel the same way when I am stitching up one of my paper dolls. As it turns out, in this really dark time, I feel a little "lighter" and a little more hopeful.
More posts coming soon from the recycle bin. AND I promise not to be so "boo hoo me".:) xxooo